It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize