there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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