??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
