you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
