so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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