Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
