you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
