Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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