This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
