Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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