i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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