drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
