im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
