He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
