It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize