Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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