Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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