whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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