Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
