I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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