I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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