so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So squirting runs in the family.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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