I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize