turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
