have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
