how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
