My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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