She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
