We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
