I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
