white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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