ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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