seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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