Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
