No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
