You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
