glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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