AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
