What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
