New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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