If that was your dad, he is hot
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
