Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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