Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
