I love black thongs
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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