you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
