you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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