You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
