At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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