ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
