yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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