it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
