two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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