My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize