Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
