You really coming over, don't trick.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
