New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
