why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
try to milk me bitch
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