Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's official drugs can't kill me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
