someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize