We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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