You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
