I'm going to jail i love you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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