she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
