i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
