Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
