I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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