Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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