hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
