i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize