So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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