i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
