When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
