her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
