Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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