I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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