remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
