sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
