eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize