He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
