he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize