do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
